Little T & ABC

Keef Cartoon

Keith Richards will co-author an upcoming children’s book – News item

In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf. One Sunday afternoon the warm sun was up and – pop! – out of the egg came a tiny and very disoriented caterpillar.  He started to look for his minders, some shepherd’s pie, and a Fender Telecaster.

“Max!” cried Ruby.  “You’ve been on the slide three times already.  Let someone else have a turn.”  “Coming down again,” said Max.

Puff, puff, chug, chug, sniff, sniff. The little train rumbled down the track.  She was a happy little train, for she had such a jolly, if highly illegal, load to carry.

“Hurry up!” whinnied Moonlight Mile, standing in line behind Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.  “I’ve got to make this gig, baby.”  “Patience please,” replied Fluttershy.  “A drug-free Ponyville comes first.”

This is George.  He was a good little monkey, and always very curious, especially regarding psychotropic substances.

So, after eating as much lettuce as they could, Peter and Benjamin ran from Mr. McGregor’s garden.  They then took up residence in the south of France, where they began to work on the rabbits’ masterpiece, Exile at Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle’s.

Once upon a time there was a young prince.  The prince could never keep a dollar past sunset, for it always burned a hole in his pants.  He never made his school mamas happy, but he never blew a second chance.   The prince needed a love to keep him happy.

After supper, Pa would take out his fiddle, and Laura and Mary and Ma would listen as he played.  Sometimes Pa’s friends Mr. Jones, Mr. Taylor, or Mr. Wood would come by and join in on their own fiddles.  Other times, Mr. Jagger, from the other side of Plum Creek, came over to hear the music, but Ma always made sure he did not sit near Laura and Mary.

Backstage at the Gardens / In bygone times / A famous musician / Did twelve straight lines.

“Rachel, look!” exclaimed Kirsty Tate to her best friend, Rachel Walker.  “I think it’s Angie, the Satisfaction Fairy!”  Sure enough, in a shower of fairy and other dust, Angie fluttered up unsteadily to the girls.  “Hello, Rachel and Kirsty,” Angie greeted them.  She was dressed in frayed jeans, a black jerkin, ankle boots, and several scarves, holding her magic wand in one hand and a bottle of amber liquid in the other.

We met a Keef.  Around his neck he wore a leaf.  Keef played a riff.  It gave off a whiff. It sounded like he’d smoked a spliff.

So, with a nod of thanks to his friends, he went on with his walk through the forest, humming proudly to himself.  But, Christopher Robin looked after him lovingly, and said to himself, “The world’s most elegantly wasted bear.”

The hare tried to beat the tortoise to the finish line, but he had napped too long and couldn’t catch up. The tortoise was the winner!  The moral of the story is:  Walk before they make you run.

2 thoughts on “Little T & ABC

    • Apparently the actual book is “Lessons From Grandfather Gus,” or something like that – about KR’s first encounters with the guitar. Probably charming, but it shows how the publishing biz is skewed towards pre-sold celebs. There are likely thousands of talented children’s authors waiting for that kind of break! Glad you liked it.

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